Q. Why do people choose adoption?

A .There are as many reasons for adoption as there are Birthparents; some Birthparents don’t believe in abortion, others may want their child raised in a stable two parent family, many young couples feel they lack the financial resources or maturity to raise a child, still others are looking to complete their education or are experiencing career difficulties or feel their relationship isn’t stable.  Everyone is different and every situation is as unique as the individual making the decision.  Only you can decided if adoption is the right choice for you.

Q.Can I be involved in choosing the family for my baby?

A.Yes! We will introduce you to potential Adoptive Parents, after your meeting you decide if they are right for you. You can spend time with them to get to know them. have dinner, go to doctor visits together, talk on the telephone, email, and/or write to each other.   All of these choices are up to you.

Q.How will I know my baby is with a good family?

A.Because you participate in the selection process you have the opportunity to get to know potential adoptive families before you choose them. In addition all potential adoptive parents are thoroughly evaluated in a home study process conducted by the state or private licensed adoption agency.  This evaluation is very detailed and includes assessments of the couple’s marital and financial stability in addition to a criminal screening for past criminal activity or allegations of child abuse. Their home will also be inspected by a social worker to ensure it is a safe environment for a child.   Prior to finalization of the adoption the Adoptive Parents may be required to appear before the adoption judge in order to be declared a permanent family.

Q.Does anyone check the adoptive family after the Adoption?

A.Yes. As part of the formal adoption process, the social worker assigned by the County, State or private agency will conduct home visits in order to verify that the child's needs are being met and properly provided for. The social worker is required to submit a formal report to the court which is reviewed and approved by the judge before the adoption can be legally finalized.

Q.How much contact can I have with the family after the birth? Or can I choose not to stay in touch?

A.It is important that you choose parents whose ideas about ongoing contact are similar to your own. Sometimes couples are initially fearful about continued contact.  Your Adoption Counselor will help you make a plan that works for everyone. Any plan you make should be comfortable for both you and the Adoptive Parents prior the baby’s birth.  Many Birthparents receive letters and photos from the Adoptive Parents, others have phone conversations and a few Birthmothers actually visit Adoptive Parents.

Q. Will my child know about me?

A.Yes! In most cases, the adopting parents will have told the child about you and the reason for the adoption.   Even though adoption records are kept confidential, most states give Birthmothers the option to make her information available to the child when the child has turned 18 and seeks this information.

Q.What will my child be told about me and the adoption?

A.At the appropriate time, your child will be told that the reason they were placed with Adoptive Parents was because you loved them and that you only wanted what was best for them at that time. They will explain the very difficult and unselfish decision you made about adoption.  The couple who adopts your child will receive information about your background, your family, medical history, interests and hobbies - what you are like as a person.

Q.Can my medical bills and other expenses be paid?

A.Yes! In most cases, if you need financial assistance, your living expenses or other costs that are related to the pregnancy can be paid by the adoptive parents. In addition you may be eligible to receive public assistance or insurance benefits These expenses are subject to review by the adoption judge before the adoption is finalized and may be limited by the laws in your state. Our Adoption Counselors will help you develop a budget and make sure you comply with the laws in your state.
 

Q.What rights does the father of the baby have?

A.The Birthfather does have rights and if he can be located, has the right to know about your plans to place his child with Adoptive Parents.  The birthfather is usually willing to consent to the adoption as it will terminate any obligations he may have to support the child. Usually he just needs reassurance that he will not be shut out of the process and can be involved if he chooses. We will speak to him for you if you would prefer and guide him through the process. An attorney will be made available to advise him of his rights and responsibilities and execute the necessary paperwork, if he so requests. In other cases where the Birthfather refuses to consent, a separate court action regarding his parental rights can be filed and his rights can be terminated through the court. If the birthfather is unknown, there are also legal steps that can be taken to terminate an unknown Birthfather's rights in court.

Q.If I choose adoption, when is my decision final?

A.It is a good idea to consider your plans carefully as early in your pregnancy as possible so that there will be no misunderstandings when the baby is born.  Adoption involves the lives of three or more people, you, your child and the Adoptive Parents so any indecision on your part can deal a severe blow to everyone connected with you.  Adoption laws differ from state-to-state and Durand Cook will discuss this with you if you choose adoption.

Q. What if I change my mind.

A.The Birthmother will be advised by either an attorney or social worker as to when her parental rights are terminated and transferred to the adopting parents.  The timing of this termination depends on the laws in the state where you and/or your adoptive parents live. This advisement occurs before the Birthmother signs the consent documents. Durand Cook will discuss this timing with you if you choose adoption.

Q.Can I choose my own doctor?

A.Yes. You are in complete control of your medical care, including choice of doctor and hospital. Your Adoption Counselor will help you complete a Hospital Birth Plan before you deliver which will determine your preferences regarding the doctor, the hospital and the delivery setting.

Q. What if my child is born with medical problems?

A.Many Adoptive Parents are prepared to accept a less than healthy child in the same way that they would accept their biological child if it had problems at birth. In independent adoptions, it becomes very important for the Adoptive Parents to have access to medical information about the Birthmother and the child so that they can make informed decisions and prepare themselves accordingly.

Q.If I decide to place my baby for adoption, will my feelings of sadness ever go away?

A.It is only natural to feel sadness in your heart that things in your life did not work out differently. However, knowing that you child will be given love, security, and financial stability by the Adoptive Parents you pick out together with the joy you have brought to these new parents, will eventually replace any regret you now have.  In time you will realize that by making this decision you have changed the lives of everyone involved with the adoption of your child.

Q.What is the role of an attorney?

A.Aside from preparing the proper legal documents needed for the adoption, your attorney makes sure that the needs of both the Birthmother and the Adopting Parents are met. All attorney fees are paid for by the Adopting Parents as a part of the Adoption Plan you develop with your personal Adoption Counselor.